Nicole Kidman regularly wakes up crying in the middle of the night.

The Hollywood actress, 57, admits she’s “more open to emotions” now she’s in her 50s as she’s raising children and dealing with the pain of losing both her parents as well as pouring her feelings into her acting roles.

In an interview for British GQ‘s Men of the Year 2024 editions, Nicole explained: “I consider myself open to emotions … More so now. Even more so …

“Mortality. Connection. Life coming and hitting you. And loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human.

“I’m in all of those places. So life is, whew. It’s definitely a journey. And it hits you as you get older how it’s a wake up at 3AM crying and gasping kind of thing. If you’re in it and not numbing yourself to it. And I’m in it. Fully in it.”

Nicole’s father Antony died aged 75 in 2014 and she lost her mother Janelle in September, just a week after she gave the interview to GQ.

She added: “There’s the mortality aspect of life which, when you start to deal with that, it’s very heavy. When you’re raising children you’re like, I gotta stay here. I wanna see all of this. It’s devastating and beautiful and extraordinary … “

Nicole explained her daughters, Sunday, 16, and Faith, 13, with husband Keith Urban, were very young when her father died and they saw how upset their mom was and she felt she had to “push through” the grief for their sake and it actually helped her “get better.”

In the chat with the magazine, the actress also revealed she channels all her emotions into her roles and it often leaves her feeling ill and unable to sleep.

She said: “I get sick or I get disturbed. It penetrates my dreams, I don’t sleep well, I shake, I have all sorts of different physical manifestations from it.”