Despite being urged not to, Erika Kirk says she had to see her husband’s body — no matter how painful it would be.

In her first interview since conservative commentator Charlie Kirk was shot and killed on a Utah college campus in September, Erika appeared on Jesse Watters Primetime on Wednesday (Nov. 6) to share the harrowing moments that followed his death — and the unexpected emotion she saw on his face.

‘You Thought You Could Stop What I Built’

Erika, 36, described arriving at the hospital as stepping into “a scene from a horror film.” Everyone — from doctors to law enforcement — appeared shaken by what had happened.

Read More: Charlie Kirk’s 3-Year-Old Daughter Still Talks to Him, Erika Kirk Says

Though advised not to view her husband’s body, she insisted: “I wanted to see what they did to my husband.”

When she finally did, Erika noticed something unexpected: a slight smirk on Charlie’s face.

“That smirk to me is that look of, ‘You thought you could stop what I’ve built,’” she explained. “‘You thought you could end this vision, this movement, this revival… by murdering me. You got my body. You didn’t get my soul.’”

‘He’d Say No’

Charlie Kirk was killed on Sept. 10 during an event at Utah Valley University.

Police allege that 22-year-old Tyler Robinson fired the fatal shot, striking Kirk in the neck before fleeing the scene. Robinson has been charged with aggravated murder, among other charges.

Read More: Erika Kirk Delivers Heartbreaking Tribute to Husband Charlie Kirk — Watch + Read Full Speech

Reflecting on her husband’s legacy, Erika said she’s confident that Charlie wouldn’t want to return — not if his death sparked something greater.

“If God said, ‘You can go back, or this is going to be the catalyst for something bigger,’” she said, “he’d say no.”