When I was a kid, I hated playing Hide n’ Seek. I’m sitting in the back of my parent’s closet behind my mom’s dresses—the long ones that went all the way to the floor—barely breathing, not for fear my brother would hear me, but in anticipation of that moment he would open the closet door, yank the dresses to the side and scream, “Found you!” It terrified me. And I didn’t enjoy being the seeker, either. Something about it left me feeling unsettled.

That was my life before Jesus. Hiding. Seeking.

Hiding from who God made me to be, in order to be the person others wanted me to be.

Seeking happiness through all the wrong things. Constantly seeking, constantly coming up empty.

A friend, who had been walking with me through this, suggested I try his church. (My church at that time had also left me feeling empty.) My friend’s church was quite different from mine so I was hesitant. But I was also desperate. “Isn’t that the church that’s like a concert and everyone raises their hands?” I asked.

That’s how I met Jesus. And that’s where Jesus met me. Two songs in, I felt my soul being FILLED. The lyrics were speaking to me so deeply that I felt the Holy Spirit stirring in me, even though I didn’t know at that time who the Holy Spirit was! I ran to the bathroom in tears wondering what was happening to me. Those tears were releasing lies and pain—they were releasing the “hide n’ seeker.” Through the tears, I began to see. I began to feel. I felt loved in a way I had never felt before. And I wanted more. A LOT more!

My life since Jesus has taught me I do not need to chase after people to love me, to choose me. My life since Jesus has taught me that I am CHOSEN. I am loved. I am freed and forgiven. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And for the first time in my life, it felt glorious to be found.