Most of Dolly Parton‘s fans know that Carl Dean — the singer’s husband of 58 years — is a very private person who keeps out of the spotlight and never appears at shows or country music events alongside his superstar wife.

But that wasn’t always true.

Back in the early days of their marriage, Parton once asked Dean to attend an event with her, and he did.

… And the couple quickly learned that he was too uncomfortable to spend any more time in the spotlight.

Parton remembers the moment during a recent conversation on Bunnie Xo‘s Dumb Blonde podcast, saying that the year after she and Dean got married in 1966, she asked him to attend the BMI Awards with her as she received her very first Song of the Year trophy.

“I rented a tux and begged him to go,” she says. “And he did, and oh, he was so uncomfortable the whole night.”

The outfit was one part of it — Parton says Dean was “pulling off stuff” the minute they arrived back home — but she also says it was immediately clear how distressed her husband was by the crowds and the spotlight.

Read More: Dolly Parton Spills on How She + Carl Dean Keep the Spark Alive

“He said, ‘Look now, I want you to do everything you want to do and I wish you the best, but don’t ever ask me to go to another one of these damn things, because I’m not doing it.’ And he never did,” Parton continues.

“… And I respected that. I didn’t know he was gonna be that uneasy.”

Since then, the singer says, she and her husband have had a mutual respect about going their separate ways when it comes to her career. When they spend time together, they choose at-home dates or more low-key outings.

“Even on anniversaries and stuff like that, we usually stay home and do something special,” Parton explains. “Or go to McDonald’s, or go to somewhere we wanna go that’s comfortable.”

It’s not just red carpets and flashy galas that put Dean off: Parton says her husband steers clear of any kind of crowd.

But there is one kind of outing that he doesn’t mind: “He loves Mexican food,” she reveals. “… We will go in, sit in a booth and do that.”

Elsewhere in the conversation, Parton explains how the couple’s sense of humor, fun and friendship has served as a powerful foundation to keep their relationship healthy through the years. Despite their differences, she says, they always come back to the things they have in common.

“He’s special to me and I love him just like he is,” the singer says. “Everybody loves Carl.”