Maren Morris says that the emotions of going through a divorce once caught up with her when she least expected them: During soundcheck before a show.

In a new interview with SiriusXM, the singer explains that it wasn’t always easy for her to continue her busy schedule of performing and songwriting as she was navigating her split from her ex-husband Ryan Hurd.

Leading up to her official filing last October, Morris was on tour with the Chicks — and she says emotions came to a head during a September tour stop in Toronto.

“A lot of things at home weren’t feeling great, and I definitely, during soundcheck, had a bit of a mental — well, it was just a panic attack,” she remembers.

Morris explains that “a lot of factors” led to that experience, but says she was still able to compose herself in time to do the show.

“Sometimes life’s not waiting for you to conveniently break down when you’re at home in the comfort of your own bedroom,” she goes on to say. “Sometimes you have to put your big girl pants on and go do the show still.”

Elsewhere in the interview, Morris explains that it wasn’t until her divorce was finalized that she allowed herself to truly process the pain of the split.

“No one asked me to, but I guess institutionally or socially, I was like, ‘You know what, I’m gonna fall apart when it’s safe to,” she goes on to say.

Morris and Hurd are parents to a 4-year-old son named Hayes, and she says that part of being “steady” was about showing up for her son.

“You still have to be a mother, even though maybe everything in your life that day has imploded. Or that year,” she notes. “You’re shielding the explosion from a 4-year-old.”

Morris’ divorce came during a year of change in the singer’s personal and professional life. She shifted away from country mainstream, planning to make music in a more genre-fluid space. In her SiriusXM interview, she says that the same week she filed for divorce, she also had to make space to continue her musical pursuits.

“The week that I filed for divorce, I had writes all week. And they were people coming in from L.A. to Nashville. So I didn’t wanna cancel, because they had flown in to write with me,” she explains.

“I felt like I had a responsibility, even through that darkness,” Morris says. “And they were so sweet about it, my friends that were there from L.A. … They were like, ‘Are you sure you wanna be here? We can totally cancel.’ [I said], ‘No, I really need to be here. I can’t go home.’ I wrote three or four times that week. Just to be productive and do something that would take me out of the pain for a second.”

Morris’ newest project, an EP called Intermission, arrived earlier this month.

Carena Liptak is an Associate Editor and staff writer at Taste of Country. She specializes in breaking country music news, interviews and lists. In particular, she’s got a soft spot for sad songs — check out her roundup of the 50 Saddest Country Songs of All Time!